Secondly, some news about my upcoming webcomic:

As you probably know already, I submitted the idea for my upcoming webcomic “Tock the Gnome” to Crossed Genres, since they feature webcomics in their subscribers area. If I had gotten it, only their subscribers could read it, but I would have gotten the benefit of that concrete audience and a guaranteed publisher. It would have run for one year (52 pages), and I would have had to meet deadlines that were not my own, which means I would have had an easier time making them (unfortunately, I have a difficult time keeping to my own deadlines so strictly).

I submitted everything to them, including the whole outline for the story and the first page, over the last couple of months. I finally heard back from them last week, and they don’t want it. They say the story is too low-paced for them, and they had hoped I’d take more “risks” with it.

I’m not sure what that last bit means, honestly, but I understand their position. They probably have to cater to the high-paced, lots of explosions, adrenaline-rush people expect in entertainment these days, especially with projects that run long-term. My stuff is not like that – I deal with emotions and relationships between people more than epic battles. It seems obvious now that that wouldn’t mesh.

So, it looks like I will be doing this on my own. I’ve already set up a blog to publish it on, which you can find here.

And here’s a brief synopsis of the story, in case you missed it before:

“The story is about a Gnome woman named Tock, who lives in a Steampunk society in a fantasy world. Driven by a legend about a trapped elven princess on a floating island, she convinces her friend Bumble – an airship pilot – to join her quest to rescue her. They hire a female orc warrior and a male anthropomorphic-badger mage to help them, and together they seek the island and the princess. Throughout the journey Tock’s idea of what she really wants, and who she really wants to be with, is challenged, especially as she learns more about another member of her party. Finally, in the end, they all find out that what they sought is not exactly what they expected.”

I hope that seems interesting, and if it does, please check out the link above for more updates as I get closer to publishing the comic myself. Thanks for reading!

In honor of that, here’s a selection of my work, my favorite romantic pieces I’ve done (narrowed down to a small handful). If you click on the images, they’ll take you to a larger file and more information at my DeviantART site

I wish you and yours a most lovely and love-filled day, no matter what you believe or who you put your faith in!

Just a short post to jot down some ideas I had for a new character. One of my friends is planning a Steampunk DnD campaign that he wants to run in the Fall, and since he’s taking so much time to prepare, he’s having us get started a little bit on our characters now. So here’s what I have so far, after brainstorming with both him and my llady:

~ Female Gnome bard (dur!)
~ Also a Tinker (using the mini-template from The Quintessential Gnome by Mongoose)
~ Likely then comes from a family of Tinkers, but decided not to just follow that as a profession and chose a life of Bardic Magic instead, since she showed the propensity for it
~ Sings and plays a Hurdy Gurdy *heart*
~ Hurdy Gurdy will not have a turny knob thing – instead there are buttons she presses to increase the speed of steam pistons or something that serve that purpose, and add a percussion of their own.
~ Has her hair in short dreadlocks, like the girl in my “Llamataur” piece. Decorates it with beads and cogs and things.
~ Plays two different kinds of songs – songs about the technological changes, to boost her popularity, and songs about traditional fantasy quests and heroes and romance, for her own pleasure. Hopefully as the campaign goes she will merge these two things – creating songs that are about those kinds of adventures and romance, but truly Steampunk too.
~ Likes the fashion and certain cultural changes best out of what’s happening, not interested in the technology so much per se – maybe embraces the idea of courtly love too, despite the Gnomish freedom about love, so maybe she worships Sheyanna Flaxenstrand? Ooh, in that case she might be adventuring to find true love for herself. That also might make her seem kind of prudish, since she doesn’t sleep around, but she’d be free with herself with someone she loved enough for that.

….Yeah that’s pretty much it so far. Will likely edit this, or make a new post, once more of her has developed.

I’ve actually never been into Egyptian mythology much before, except a “dabbling” kind of attitude since there are certain aspects of it that do appeal to me. I’ve always been more into Greek mythology, especially as my Patron goddess has been Athena since I was in the 5^th grade (not kidding). I’ve also been looking into Celtic mythology lately, since I’m getting more into my Irish heritage. So not really much with the Egypt. I joined the DA group mostly just to support a good friend of mine, who’s one of the people who runs it. And I had done a couple Egypt-themed pieces in the past, but really only two of them and one large painting in one of my old college classes, so its not like that culture had a great influence on my art either.

Anyway, for the contest, I had been planning to do this piece about Bast (who has interested me a little bit since I like kitties, and she’s rumored to be the goddess of lesbians). But then I noticed that a couple other contestants had done pieces based on her already, so I decided to scrap that idea and choose someone else. A couple weeks went by (and at this point, the deadline is fast approaching), but I still hadn’t figured out who I wanted to draw instead, and hadn’t had time per se to sit down and do research.

Then, the day before last, I started thinking about Hathor, mostly in a “her name just popped into my head” kinda way. I had to work, though, and it was a VERY long day (eight hour shift at the desk, then almost 4 more hours helping my girlfriend with her housekeeping job because our boss thinks one housekeeper can clean an entire hotel…but that’s another story, sorry), so I didn’t get to it that night. Instead, I mentioned it while talking to my girlfriend yesterday (we both had the day off). At that, she actually encouraged me to also look up Nut (pronounced “newt”), goddess of the night sky – not because she knew anything about her either, but just on a hunch. So I sat down and did research on both of them. It turns out that they’re connected – both are goddesses of cows, and of the sky: Nut is night, Hathor is day (by way of being a solar goddess), and they share a lot of the same symbolism, if not specific realms of influence.

What really struck me though, as I should have expected, was Hathor herself. She’s AMAZING. She’s the goddess of love, motherhood, and joy, and also covers dance and song and creativity, and she’s a solar goddess which I absolutely love (I also consider Athena a solar goddess). She had more festivals than any other Egyptian deity, according to what I read, and more children were named for her than any other deity. It has also been theorized recently that she is THE Egyptian mother goddess, implying (to me at least) that she predates the rest of the pantheon. OMGYAY. And she’s a horned goddess, even though female cows don’t have horns (maybe the ones in ancient Egypt did?). The Greeks and Romans both associated her with Aphrodite/Venus, which is also cool, but Hathor seems more….I dunno, independent than Aphrodite or Venus seem to me. That may change as I work with her more, but she already seems so whole in herself as I think of her, so full of happiness and purpose without needing a consort, but still the goddess of love so she embraces love in all its forms with all her heart.

If you couldn’t tell by now, I am SO going to be working with her in the future. All this research I did yesterday, and how I feel working on this drawing of her and Nut, has convinced me that I have something to learn by communicating with her personification of the divine.

So I was thinking about the whole thing, and how I might begin a relationship with Hathor (as T. Thorn Coyle says, you have to buy the gods a drink first before you ask them for something) – imagining getting a little cow statue or something else to symbolize her and ask her what’s up and all that. I specifically imagined myself saying to her “I think you’re trying to contact me.” Then I heard in my head, in a female voice not much older than my own but definitely not MY voice, the words “I am.”

I’m not sure what you believe, as you read this, but I truly feel that that was her speaking directly to me to affirm what I’ve been feeling is true over the last day and a half. I’ve only felt that distinct, sure connection once before in my life – when I was doing a guided meditation, in which Athena came to me, kissed me on the forehead and told me that I am her daughter. I hardly EVER have experiences like that, direct connections and experiences with the divine force as I believe in it. I was raised Catholic, which crushed my intuitive senses and belief that I can just connect to and know things (also fucked up my sense of body and pride and respect for the physical, but that’s another story too).

So for the first time, I say “Praise Hathor,” and set myself walking down her path.

Yes, I am still here. It seems to be temporary, but at least I’m getting hours. That still won’t solve the problem of how little I make here, but hopefully I’ll figure something else out soon.

Work on the comic is going slowly, but still definitely happening. I don’t remember if I mentioned this before, but it turns out that if I get to do this on my own, I won’t likely be done with these characters after the story I have designed for them. So I’ve worked out two more stories, to make a trilogy, with a deeper meaning than just the moral of the first one (not that that’s a bad message, I just strive for something deeper in longer works). Soooo if you were planning on reading that when it comes out, you have plenty to look forward to. On Crossed Genre’s end, they haven’t contacted me yet, but they have until 60 days after my submission to do so. So if I haven’t heard from them by around May 6th, I’ll be on my own. Like I’ve said before, I almost want it that way, but am keeping an open mind because of the benefits that would come from working with them.

Also, there’s another Witches Meetup tonight, this time a simple coffee night kinda thing. Should be fun, and less awkward than the first one (I never know what to say) since we’ve gone to a few different events now. I am looking forward to a relaxed evening of Pagan talk with lots of almost-strangers and my llady. Plus, we’re going to this Greek restaurant for it, and they have these little round dough ball things covered in honey that are delicious. Wouldn’t mind a chance to have those again ;p

Aaaaaand now I suppose I should go pretend to be a responsible adult. Ta!

It’s still in its very beginning stages right now for a couple of reasons: 1) I am still working out the kinks of how best to get one page done a week, since I plan on going weekly, and 2) I’ve submitted the idea to the webzine Crossed Genres, in hopes that they’ll pick it up, since they’ll pay me to do it and it’ll guarantee a publisher. Here’s a little teaser of what it’ll be about:

“The story is about a Gnome woman named Tock, who lives in a Steampunk society in a fantasy world. Driven by a legend about a trapped elven princess on a floating island, she convinces her friend Bumble – an airship pilot – to join her quest to rescue her. They hire a female orc warrior and a male anthropomorphic-badger mage to help them, and together they seek the island and the princess. Throughout the journey Tock’s idea of what she really wants, and who she really wants to be with, is challenged, especially as she learns more about another member of her party. Finally, in the end, they all find out that what they sought is not exactly what they expected.”

I still haven’t heard back from CG, but they have until about the end of April (60 days after my submission) to respond to my proposal, so we’ll see what happens.

The point of me talking about this right now is that while at the support-job today (still covering shifts there), I had a lot of brainstorming explosions that would be really really really awesome if I could continue the story past the arc I described above. And because of that, the part that hopes that CG won’t pick me up is growing. Rapidly. Its been there for a good long while now, at least a little bit, because I like the idea of not being limited to CG’s restrictions – specifically the number of pages (which is 52, btw).  But because of these ideas I had today (which I’m not going to share, in case I do actually get to use them), I could make the story mean even MORE in the long run, beyond the meaning it already has. It would become a trilogy, and very very awesome, if I do say so myself. I would need to be doing it on my own in order to do this, though, without CG or any other official publisher putting limits on it. And because of the rights CG would have over the aforementioned arc if they do pick it up, I’m not sure I’d be allowed to continue the story on my own after they’ve published part of it.

Also, this would further delay another project I plan on doing someday, which is a vote for CG picking it up. This other project, which is much much much longer, and the ideas of which began when I was in high school, is something I hope to get to do eventually because a) I’ve been working on it for so long and b) it’s even more connected to my spirituality. That project isn’t quite done “cooking” yet, in terms of planning, to be honest, but I am eager to get to that too. I’m excited to do “Tock” first, of course, if not only for the fact that it’ll be fantastic comic practice. But I don’t know if I have the patience to see all of my ideas for “Tock” through before I am ready to start the bigger project.

Conundrum’d. Sigh.

Apologies for the melodrama. I will try to write something more optimistic and less “omgwtf am I gonna do????” next time ^^;

For almost four years, that support job has been at the same place – an old Victorian business in the town I went to college in (my girlfriend and I chose to settle here after my graduation). Honestly, at first, I didn’t appreciate anything about it. It was just a job. It had its problems, but I won’t get into that too much, but looking back I realize it wasn’t that bad either. At least, at that point, the place had people in control who cared about it. Then in October of 2008, the place was sold to someone who doesn’t seem to care at all, and has pretty much run the place into the ground in less than two years, destroying all that the previous owners – even the people who started the business in the early 1900’s – had worked to build. However, a plus of this ownership change was that I was promoted to a managerial position, which forced me to really start caring. And I did, whole-heartedly, especially since I’m getting into Steampunk and the Victorian Era so much. At the beginning of March this year, I realized that I truly am in love with the place. It could be so wonderful, if it had the right attention and someone in charge who actually gives a shit (the person in question may actually care, I suppose, but they do not act like it).

On Tuesday the 16^th of this month, I was laid off. It was very unexpected, and likely came as a result of the fact that I earned more money as a manager than a minimum-wage staff member. It was heart-stopping, and painful, to be torn away from this place I’ve come to love. I applied for unemployment, and started job hunting – again – which at first seemed fruitless and hopeless. There’s not much available in the place I live, no matter how much I like it here. I spent the first few days moping around all depressed, but tried to use the time to get some artstuff done that I hadn’t had time for before, which has worked out pretty well (if not financially so, at least I’m getting things finished). Then I tried to pull myself out of that and really use the time as best I could.

On Thursday of last week, I got an unexpected call from another local business (that’s part of chain, actually), who said they didn’t have any positions available when I applied, but suddenly wanted me to come in for an interview. This business is very similar to the aforementioned, so I have a lot of related experience and I think they were impressed by what I had to offer. Taking the job, IF they choose to offer it to me, would be a pretty big pay cut since its not a managerial position. But its someplace SECURE, unlike my beautiful sad tragic dying former place. Ironically, that same evening, I received a call from former-employer asking me to come in and cover some basic shifts (not managerial) because of someone else’s foolish injury. I agreed, and am supposed to help them out through next week at least, until this other person gets better. But when they do get better, I’ll likely be kicked back out again, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be offered my job back.

The new place is supposed to let me know whether or not they want me by this coming Monday or Tuesday. I guess I have until then to decide what I’m going to do if they call. The question is this – do I take the security if it is offered to me, and abandon the place I love, not caring about the agreement I made to work this week? Or do I stay, hoping they keep me on and fight for the sinking ship?

I don’t expect anything by posting this, I just needed to get this all out of my head and heart, and written down. Any advice would be appreciated with hugs and cookies, though. Thanks.

First off, I have uploaded a more personal header instead of the one that came with this theme. I do like the browns, but the image had to change. This should give you a but of a better idea of what I’m about, and what you’re in for. The images from left to right:

~ Close-up of a steampunk-esque piece of mine called “Victoria.”

~ A piece of mine called “Keeping Warm.”

~ A close-up of a picture of my face. Yes, it’s now chopped in half, but the twisted part of me kinda likes it that way.

~ Close-up of a piece of mine called “Forest Beats Rock.”

~ Close up of a piece of mine called “Leveled Up.”

I also do a lot of fanart, but opted not to use any of those pieces in case anyone decides to hate me enough to sue me. Ridiculous, but careful.

Secondly, I just got back from my second meetup-group meeting with some other local Pagans. My brand of Paganism is very eclectic, and though once Wiccan, I now consider myself my own band of Witchery, specifically functioning as a Priestess of Athena at the moment (she’s been my Mother goddess since I discovered her in 6th grade, waaaaaaaaay before I knew what Paganism was). My girlfriend (of 6 years)/magickal partner and I have been joining this meetup group recently to try and branch out to other Pagans in the area, not to form a coven per se but more to have community and encourage ourselves to be active spiritually by engaging with others.

Anyway, in honor of women’s history month, there was a meeting tonight that was women-only. At first we just hung out and had an AWESOME potluck dinner, but then we ended up doing ritual, and creating totems with eggs. We talked about the power of women, and though some people said some things that made me quirk an eyebrow, it was a really empowering experience. There was also one individual who was really high-strung and intrusive and rude (she called me and my llady out on being fat women, as a negative thing, as if it wasn’t going to be offensive, and also was very pretentious and set in her ways, offended if anyone offered anything to her that wasn’t part of her rule system. Oi), but even that didn’t ruin the night. Our eggs are charging in the nearly-full moonlight now, and I look forward to the next one – hopefully we’ll be doing more of them. Best of all, though, was a thought I had during the beginnings of the ritual, which was along the lines of “How could I not want to LIVE this?” I’ve been very on-and-off or lazy about my spirituality, even when I was first getting into it, so that moment was really unexpectedly important to me.

Speaking of which, and finally, I should explain a bit more about my spiritual history. I was raised Roman Catholic but it didn’t stick at all – I was deep into it, in the sense that I went to Religion classes and sang in choir and volunteered and stuff up through my early teenage years, but I really did it all for my mom (who needed her religion to survive my father), not for myself. As a teenager, and through happenstance, I stumbled upon Wicca before I even thought of looking for a new religion. I just knew I was unhappy as a Catholic. Very fortunately for me, Wicca seemed like coming home, except it still felt a little off. Still, it was the most right feeling thing I had ever felt (other than figuring out that I’m a lesbian, which is a whole ‘nother story), so I dove right into it without much hesitation. To make a long story short, I gradually came out of the broom closet and practiced the craft lazily, and then came college. At college, I met other Wiccans/Pagans who wanted to form a group, and we did so. I was put in the position of President, which was supposed to be a figurehead position….but it didn’t quite work out that way. Over the few years the group existed, my llady (who I also met at college) and I pretty much ran the group all by ourselves – all the other officers were not interested in doing any work, and the members pretty much just wanted to show up, participate vaguely, and then go home. It was rough, but we were attached, so we stuck it out for longer than we should have. Shortly after we finally gave up on it do to lack of interest, we tried forming a three-person coven with a good friend of ours, but that also fell apart for various reasons. We continued practicing together/solitarily, until we began attending this meetup group.

More personally, and as I mentioned earlier, I belong to the Greek Goddess Athena, warrior of wisdom clad in armor, attended by owls, brandishing a spear. My experience of her is different from a literal interpretation of her mythology, but I’ll talk about that at a later date. I also mentioned that I started off Wiccan, but don’t consider myself that anymore, preferring to just apply the term Pagan or Witch for now. I’ll explain more about that, and the way I think divinity works, at a later date too.

And yes, you should expect to hear more about this, hopefully often, as we do more with this group

rachelillustrates.com

Or here:

comethime.deviantart.com

I’ve been getting into Steampunk and the Victorian Era lately, so that’s mostly what inspired the name of this blog. A Baronet is kind of a nobleman who isn’t noble – a commoner who’s treated like nobility in a way, and called Sir, but isn’t a knight either. Female baronets are called baronetesses, but I like how it sounds like “baronette” anyway, so there’s that. And I’m always for girls called sir. Why I chose that title, instead of other nobility, is because I come from a middle-class background but raised myself on princess stories (like mainstream fairy tales, thank you Disney), so it seemed more appropriate than a non-commoner-like title. The imagining bit comes from my massive and overactive imagination, plus my love of others’ creations (I’m a HUGE fangirl), so a lot of this will be along those lines.

I’ll be using this mostly as a personal journal thing, covering what’s going on in my life as well as other things that are important to me – like size-positivity/BBW/health-at-every-size/fat-pride, various geeky things (again, fangirl), art and comics, etc. I also have two other blogs, one focusing on size-positivity and one focusing on gaming. You can see those here:

My Right to Be Fat!

Badger the Gnome’s Gaming Tome

That’s it for now. Hopefully this proves interesting to someone, otherwise it’ll just be nice to have someplace to get my thoughts out. Thanks for reading, if you did, and I hope you come back.